I went in the later part of October for my Lupron shot. It really didn't hurt at all as it went into my hip. It took a few days before some of the side effects started to set in. I started getting the weirdest mood swings. It was like my heart/emotions and my brain were not connected at all. I would want to just yell at people for no reason. It was sort of like hitting the funny bone where you just can't help but move or laugh. It was in those moments where I was lashing out or starting to cry for no reason that my unconnected brain would be saying "it's just the hormones". But they couldn't quite get connected. Weirdest feeling ever! After about two months of the Lupron, that extreme started to mellow out some. It was still a challenge, but not nearly as bad as the first month or so.
I haven't experienced many hot flashes. I have a few times, but nothing significant. My primary side effect was the mood swings. Also, a bit of weight gain. Between the Lupron and the double BCPs I had been taking, I shot up about 10 lbs in 2 months. That's a pretty big jump for me, considering I didn't change my workout or eating routines.
We had so much preparation to do for this surgery. The Dr gave us a big packet to read through all the risks and things we need to do. We had to consider things like our "Advanced Care Directive" - what my desires are if everything goes south during the procedure. What a difficult thing to do, but we had to face the possibilities and make sure everything was outlined - just in case.
The other risk was the possibility of needing a hysterectomy. My Dr explained that if that was necessary, she'd take only the uterus, leaving the ovaries and fallopian tubes in tact so that I would still have eggs and hormones so that I wouldn't be launched into immediate menopause. That would keep options open in case we wanted to have a surrogate down the road.
There was also considerations with the possibilities of hemorrhaging and needing a blood transfusion. There are always some risks with accepting someone else's donated blood. There is an option to donate your own blood for the procedure, but it can take weeks and weeks to do and process. So, by the time I considered it, we didn't have any time to do that. I just said a prayer and hoped that a transfusion wasn't needed. I also prayed that none of these risks would actually come to pass, but that the surgery would to exactly as planned.
All these things are so so so rare, but they are things I had to face and deal with one at a time. There's always the "what ifs".
Six weeks off work. That's what the Dr ordered. So, I started making preparations to find a replacement for my job - someone to cover for me while I was out. We finally found someone just days before I went out on leave.
I also started all the paperwork for my Short Term Disability with my job as well. So much paperwork to do! So many regulations and rules and things to cover. I won't even get into it all. If you have a specific question, email me and I'll try to help. It's confusing and can vary from state to state.
I sat down to discuss all my "issues" that I'd been internalizing for so many months with a counselor. I can't say it helped a lot because there isn't a lot to do at the time. She basically helped me realize that I have to be a little nicer on myself and wait until all of this is over to "start over" with self-image, etc. Easier said than done, but I am desperately trying to do that.
My Dr called and let me know there was an opening in December if I wanted to take it. I did. Why wait until Jan or Feb when you can do it sooner? Let's just get it over with!
I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
September 2008 - Test Results
After about a month of iron doses and the reduction of bleeding, my iron levels finally leveled out back to normal and I started taking just 1 iron supplement pill every day.
Late in September I went in for my ultrasound on a Friday and had an appointment with the OB/GYN Surgeon that the Nurse Practitioner recommended the following Friday. It was in that meeting with the Surgeon that I got the results of the ultrasound and found out what my options were.
The ultrasound showed I had a very large fibroid inside my uterus. Though they couldn't say with 100% accuracy from the ultrasound, it appeared that the fibroid was pedunculated, which means it is actually on the inside of the uterine wall/lining and not necessarily embedded in the uterine wall/lining or on the outside of the uterus.
(Illustration copyright 2000 by Nucleus Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. http://www.nucleusinc.com)
The fibroid was 9cm (4 inches) the size of a large grapefruit and the uterus was about 15cm - the size of an approximately 4 month pregnancy. That's the end of the first trimester, the beginning of the second! No wonder all my clothes were so tight and I had a massive tummy pooch that I couldn't ever seem to get rid of no matter how much I worked out, watched my food, or did crunches/pilates! Everything was starting to make sense.
Just knowing what the problem was helped make it easier to manage, however It was still hard on the ego. I'd seen people eyeing my growing belly, thinking that I was probably pregnant. I know those looks. My husband and I have been married just the "right" amount of time to start having kids, so I'm sure people wondered. Thankfully, no one ever asked me. They did ask my husband though, which I just recently found out. He didn't tell me because he knew what a delicate state of mind I was in at the moment.
I found out from the doctor that the fibroid just two years ago was the size of the kiwi (5cm), half the size of what it became. It doubled in size in just two years! Probably no thanks to the continuous BCP and the lack of attention from my regular Dr. Oh, how I wish she'd followed up on me or explained that the fibroid could grow. I had no idea it could grow. I was clueless. She was the Dr and I trusted her.
So, I sat down with the Dr my NP recommended and she looked me in the eye and said "You're going to need surgery. It's too large to get any other way." The cut-off for a laparoscopic surgery or vaginal removal is a for a fibroid 5cm or smaller, and mine was almost double that size. I was going to need a Uterine Myomectomy. This was the only option if I wanted to preserve my fertility.
At age 27, though I didn't know for sure I wanted to have children, I also wasn't for sure I didn't want to have them. I was far too young to make a decision. For women who know they don't want kids or who are older, the hysterectomy is the best option. There are also other options such as Uterine Fibroid Embolization, but the chances of getting pregnant after a Uterine Embolization is highly rare and not recommended. I guess if I knew I wanted kids, I'd probably go for the hysterectomy.
I asked a zillion questions, hoping there was another option than a myomectomy. But there wasn't. The fibroid was just growing far too quickly and there was a itty bitty chance that the fibroid could possibly NOT be a fibroid and be a cancerous tumor. This is not likely, but better safe than sorry. So my Surgeon recommended getting it out and sending it to the lab to be 100% sure.
The other downfall to having a myomectomy is that if I do become pregnant eventually, the baby will have to be taken via planned C-section 4 weeks early. They do not want me to go into contractions or labor whatsoever. The incision on the uterus can actually burst and put the life of the baby and me into jeopardy. At 4 weeks, they do an amniocentesis to check the baby's lung development to see if they're ready for the real world. If not, they'll push it out one week and take the baby 3 weeks early. It would be considered a high-risk pregnancy. Having the uterus burst during pregnancy is one of my biggest fears. I cannot even imagine what that pain would feel like, much less the fear.
I know many people these days have vaginal births after having a C-section, so I wondered why that wouldn't be an option for me. I asked my doctor about this and she explained that with a full term baby, the uterus muscle is so stretched out and 'thin' at that point, the incision is much smaller. Doing a surgery on a smaller uterus, the muscle is still very thick and therefore, the incision is much larger, with much more weakness. What about if I become pregnant with twins? I don't know. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. That's on my list of things to ask my Dr next time we talk.
Of course, with any full surgery, there a risks. There are risks of hemorrhaging, requiring a blood transfusion. A chance that the uterus was so badly destroyed or bleeding that a hysterectomy was required. But the rewards were deemed greater than the risks, so we went on the books for surgery. She originally said it would be Jan or Feb of 2009 before the surgery would take place.
It makes me angry that my original Dr never did any follow up or explanation. Had she did, I wouldn't be facing the surgery that I am now. A smaller sized fibroid has less-invasive options for removal, but because of (what I consider) her lack of dedication, I have to have the full thing.
In the meantime, she put me on a 3 month shot of Lupron Depot. Lupron is basically an estrogen blocker that can help reduce the size of the fibroid by up to 20% (ish). Unfortunately, that wouldn't be enough for a less invasive surgery for me, but it would help her get it out once she was in there. And, also, it would mean that I would stop bleeding, which was enough for me. As an estrogen blocker, that means I would be thrown into a temporary menopause of sorts for those three months. Including mood swings, hot flashes, etc. Heh. This should be interesting.
Late in September I went in for my ultrasound on a Friday and had an appointment with the OB/GYN Surgeon that the Nurse Practitioner recommended the following Friday. It was in that meeting with the Surgeon that I got the results of the ultrasound and found out what my options were.
The ultrasound showed I had a very large fibroid inside my uterus. Though they couldn't say with 100% accuracy from the ultrasound, it appeared that the fibroid was pedunculated, which means it is actually on the inside of the uterine wall/lining and not necessarily embedded in the uterine wall/lining or on the outside of the uterus.
(Illustration copyright 2000 by Nucleus Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. http://www.nucleusinc.com)
The fibroid was 9cm (4 inches) the size of a large grapefruit and the uterus was about 15cm - the size of an approximately 4 month pregnancy. That's the end of the first trimester, the beginning of the second! No wonder all my clothes were so tight and I had a massive tummy pooch that I couldn't ever seem to get rid of no matter how much I worked out, watched my food, or did crunches/pilates! Everything was starting to make sense.Just knowing what the problem was helped make it easier to manage, however It was still hard on the ego. I'd seen people eyeing my growing belly, thinking that I was probably pregnant. I know those looks. My husband and I have been married just the "right" amount of time to start having kids, so I'm sure people wondered. Thankfully, no one ever asked me. They did ask my husband though, which I just recently found out. He didn't tell me because he knew what a delicate state of mind I was in at the moment.
I found out from the doctor that the fibroid just two years ago was the size of the kiwi (5cm), half the size of what it became. It doubled in size in just two years! Probably no thanks to the continuous BCP and the lack of attention from my regular Dr. Oh, how I wish she'd followed up on me or explained that the fibroid could grow. I had no idea it could grow. I was clueless. She was the Dr and I trusted her.
So, I sat down with the Dr my NP recommended and she looked me in the eye and said "You're going to need surgery. It's too large to get any other way." The cut-off for a laparoscopic surgery or vaginal removal is a for a fibroid 5cm or smaller, and mine was almost double that size. I was going to need a Uterine Myomectomy. This was the only option if I wanted to preserve my fertility.
At age 27, though I didn't know for sure I wanted to have children, I also wasn't for sure I didn't want to have them. I was far too young to make a decision. For women who know they don't want kids or who are older, the hysterectomy is the best option. There are also other options such as Uterine Fibroid Embolization, but the chances of getting pregnant after a Uterine Embolization is highly rare and not recommended. I guess if I knew I wanted kids, I'd probably go for the hysterectomy.
I asked a zillion questions, hoping there was another option than a myomectomy. But there wasn't. The fibroid was just growing far too quickly and there was a itty bitty chance that the fibroid could possibly NOT be a fibroid and be a cancerous tumor. This is not likely, but better safe than sorry. So my Surgeon recommended getting it out and sending it to the lab to be 100% sure.
The other downfall to having a myomectomy is that if I do become pregnant eventually, the baby will have to be taken via planned C-section 4 weeks early. They do not want me to go into contractions or labor whatsoever. The incision on the uterus can actually burst and put the life of the baby and me into jeopardy. At 4 weeks, they do an amniocentesis to check the baby's lung development to see if they're ready for the real world. If not, they'll push it out one week and take the baby 3 weeks early. It would be considered a high-risk pregnancy. Having the uterus burst during pregnancy is one of my biggest fears. I cannot even imagine what that pain would feel like, much less the fear.
I know many people these days have vaginal births after having a C-section, so I wondered why that wouldn't be an option for me. I asked my doctor about this and she explained that with a full term baby, the uterus muscle is so stretched out and 'thin' at that point, the incision is much smaller. Doing a surgery on a smaller uterus, the muscle is still very thick and therefore, the incision is much larger, with much more weakness. What about if I become pregnant with twins? I don't know. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there. That's on my list of things to ask my Dr next time we talk.
Of course, with any full surgery, there a risks. There are risks of hemorrhaging, requiring a blood transfusion. A chance that the uterus was so badly destroyed or bleeding that a hysterectomy was required. But the rewards were deemed greater than the risks, so we went on the books for surgery. She originally said it would be Jan or Feb of 2009 before the surgery would take place.
It makes me angry that my original Dr never did any follow up or explanation. Had she did, I wouldn't be facing the surgery that I am now. A smaller sized fibroid has less-invasive options for removal, but because of (what I consider) her lack of dedication, I have to have the full thing.
In the meantime, she put me on a 3 month shot of Lupron Depot. Lupron is basically an estrogen blocker that can help reduce the size of the fibroid by up to 20% (ish). Unfortunately, that wouldn't be enough for a less invasive surgery for me, but it would help her get it out once she was in there. And, also, it would mean that I would stop bleeding, which was enough for me. As an estrogen blocker, that means I would be thrown into a temporary menopause of sorts for those three months. Including mood swings, hot flashes, etc. Heh. This should be interesting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)